Sunday, February 19, 2012

Little man is 3!!!

Another birthday! Another day to celebrate Jaxon's birth and life! I can't hardly believe that my 9lb 8oz baby is really not a baby anymore. In one sense I feel like I just had him, yet in another, those newborn days seems light years away. Sometimes when I rock him to sleep, I stare at his newborn picture on his wall and if I try real hard, I can still smell his sweet baby smell, feel that soft furry baby hair on my cheek and his gummy little baby fingers wrapped around mine (that always had his sister's long blond hairs in them). In this moment there is always a tangible ache in my heart that my baby is gone. So, I close my eyes really tight, squeeze him a little harder, and feel the ache for a second. I'm snapped back to reality by the miniature car driving up my arm, over my head and down my nose. I look down to see his mischievous little smile under his pacie, and I smile back as he pulls different heart strings, three year old little boy heart strings. Although my reminiscing may get old to him as he grows up, I believe he knew he would always be my baby when he came to me. Maybe something in his little spirit needed that from me?

We too knew he would be our last baby when he came and I did enjoy every second of it. I remember Troy took over every household responsibility so I could sit for two weeks straight and soak in every second of my newborn. On the fifth time around, I knew the laundry and the dishes would be there indefinitely, but his one week old face, one week old smell, and peeling little fingers would not.

While I do grieve the fact that the newborn moments are done for me, I am grateful everyday that I had them. I know many who have not or will not have these moments on this earth and I promise I did not take them for granted. I also realize we do not know when our time here will be done or how many more days they will be here for me to snuggle. Every night I lay him in his crib, I say a prayer in my heart that I'll get one more day.

Thank you Lord for giving me 1095 days to love on Jaxon and thank you Lord for giving me the capacity to love him so much it hurts! Happy birthday to my forever baby!

All about 3 year old Jaxon

His new favorite new thing is to yell "you're mean mommy!" in his really mad voice
He's a picky eater, but loves loves pizza and fruit!
He loves to snuggle, but only at bed time
He loves anything with wheels... cars, trucks, motorcycles, bikes, scooters...
He loves to bug his sisters and see if he can out run them
He loves Addies itouch
He loves the Cars' movies
He loves my brother and all of the men and boys in my family
He is one loved little boy!

This picture cracks me up because he was so big and this angle shows how his first little shirt and diaper didn't fit him! I think he ate all the other newborns in the nursery!


shilo said...

Found you, now I'm stalking you...just FYI. :) Hey, what else am I supposed to do as I am stuck at home potty training Dylan? Geez.

rhondas view said...

It was fun to take a moment and catch up on your family life! I LOVE the big pic of your beautiful family- adorable, all of you!