Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Big Boy Panties!

Well, we did it. We took the plunge and let the little man wear big boy panties! I know that sounds awful, but calling them panties is a long hard habit to break, and we are all trying!!

Oh how I love potty training, let me count the ways...umm..none! It's just not my favorite thing to do. I don't really mind all the potty talk, teaching, bribery, shooting the Honey Comb targets, etc...and I can even get past the sheer inconvenience that we have another "peer" on their own schedule, it's the fact that now my sweet well kept and clean child will now have to actually sit on a potty...bluh! Yes, I have a mental issue with toilets, it seriously makes me crazy. My own potty is bad enough, but someone else's?? and a PUBLIC potty is enough to do me in! When Addie was potty training, the thought of taking all three babies into a public restroom would cause me to have an anxiety attack, to the extent that I would put a diaper on her in the store and make her go in it. Don't judge..I had three under 2!
So, here we are now on round five. But this one's different, really different! I've dreamed of this day for so long... I've dreamed of my entire family sitting at a restaurant and when the little one says he needs to go potty, I get to sit and enjoy dinner while his Dad takes him!! This has been my job for so many years, and alas its finally his turn! But now that it's here, it's not the dream at all. More of a nightmare. The thought of my baby going into the nasty mens restroom is even worse! Double blah! Surely Troy wont be as cautious as I am to avoid any "excessive" touching of the toilet. Surely Troy won't suspend the baby over the toilet in mid air because he refuses to sit (we got bored with that real quick) and too short for the tippy toe trick! Yup, that's what I do, pick him up and suspend him at an angle and the weird part is, he actually goes! I'm pretty sure I would get stage fright and not be able to pee if someone was suspending me in mid air over a toilet. But not Jaxon, he's a champ!
So, at family dinner last night I asked the men in my family why no one told me about the unexpected random "split streamer"? The one that hit my friend's wall while the other hit the water??? That was awesome. They all just gave the sympathetic "Oh yeah, that one!" "I hate that!" "Did he get the wall yet?" "There's not a dang thing you can do about it!"
See to me, this random possibility seems like something that would be good to know when beginning the training adventure. Much like the "trailer". I'm still trying to work around this one. It's a "trailer" trickle after the main stream... the culprit that sprinkles on the potty, the pants and the floor..he thinks he's done, I think he's done, sure enough not quite done! Is he going to get made fun of that he wipes the drip and then wipes the potty for sprinkles like his mommy taught him? I asked this question to my brothers too..bad idea! I was informed that yes, I am messing him up, yes he will be made fun of, and no, there is no toilet paper in a urinal!!! AND that this job needs to be quickly passed over to his Dad before any further damage is done. Oh ok..the guy who works all day? I'm sure he won't mind making the drive home every 20 minutes for a potty break! and he's not a lot of help with the tips as he feels these are just things we figure out. Yes, I am figuring them out, and yes I realize there is more than one way to skin this cat...but I'm hoping this post might help some other first time potty trainers a little! In fact, feel free to call me, I'll share what I have learned, I have no shame. I just don't think it's too much to ask that someone write down a few tips for mommies trying to teach boys how to potty so we don't have to learn the hard way! This kid has peed on more clothes because I'm clueless.

I do have a favorite part of potty training though, it's their cute little bums and their widdle bird wegs (little bird legs) hanging out of the underwears. Pretty sure there's nothing cuter then a little guy in his drawers and boots. Rain, cowboy, he doesn't care! And he has no modesty. He ran into the front yard in nothing but a tshirt and boots to ride his scooter last week. If you thought Gracie was a fast two year old, you should see this kid on a scooter. Good thing my sweet neighbor raised two boys, so it didn't phase her that I was running down the street after my naked kid on a get away scooter!!

(Big sigh... ) So to all the boy moms who have come to my house, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wiped your kids pee off the floor, off my walls, and out of the grout behind the toilet in sheer disgust...I just didn't know how hard it really is, I was ignorant! And to my friends whose homes I will soon visit with my son, I am sorry for that too!!... and will start packing my own disinfectant wipies :)

Friday, January 20, 2012


Well, seeing how it's January, I'd better get started on my millions of things I want to do better :) Am I the only one who loves New Year's Resolutions?? This family picture is outdated, but I will put our new ones up soon. And, since I'm behind on updates, we'll just fast forward and I'll fill in "must reads" as I think of them! I found this drafted post I never finished writing and thought I should send it out. It's from 2010, but it was my life and..pretty funny! I'm happy to say some things have changed and not so happy that some of these rules haven't.

New Household Rules!! (originally drafted Sept 2010)

Ok, now that summer is over and we are back in school, the Taylor kids have taken it upon themselves to create some new family rules! Although most of these go unwritten, I thought it would be nice to have them write them out, so all who enter our home will know the rules.. In no particular order...

When cleaning your room, do the least amount as possible. Then, do gymnastics off your bed. Most often, Mom is running late and won't bother to come up and check to see if you did it as she threatens. Odds are with you.

When it's time to change, drop your clothes wherever you stand. If possible, wad them and tun them inside out. Don't bother waiting til bedtime either. All times are changing times!

For best results with laundry, throw something such as lip gloss in the pocket, or directly into the dryer if you prefer. This makes a nice tyedye effect on all of the clothes that is impossible to remove. Who doesn't like tyedye??

Dirty hampers are not only for the dirty. They are a "catch all". Especially the clean you don't want to put away. Mom will either rewash them, or pull the clean out. Either way it buys you a good couple of days.

Shoes. If you are done wearing them and want to take them of, do. Wherever you are. It's that simple.

If you are under two years of age, everything belongs to you. If someone has entered who doesn't understand this rule, simply grab your belonging back. If you cannot recover your lost or stolen item on the first attempt, hit them. A closed fist seems to get a better reaction.

If you are one and want to hit your sister, remember the consequence for the offence is only a timeout. Sometimes, the satisfaction is worth the punishment. In fact, to save time, hit her, then run as fast as you can to timeout like I do.

If you decide at any point that you don't want your string cheese, chew it up, spit it out, ball it up, and put it on a chair in the formal living room for safe keeping.

When you are seven, get in the car with no shoes on. Don't mention this until you arrive at your destination. Gets her every time.

If you are three and mom bugs you while conducting primary at church, stand up and demand she stop talking. If that doesn't work, repeat and shout "Stop talking, You are renoying me!" She loves negative attention.

If ever asked, "Did you brush your teeth?", the answer is always a swift yes without hesitation. Always. Clean or not.

Flush the toilet only when you feel like it.

Sneak pens into bed. They are good for so many things...the possibilities are endless and fun for all ages when found. The gift that keeps on giving.

When possible, tear paper. For no reason other than fun! Sprinkle around house, always mysteriously including the stairs.

After refusing all of your food at lunch, be sure something will be offered to you in the car. Just scream as loud as you can to see the menu. If nothing happens, scream louder or make a flat "mmmmm" sound. She can't take it. You'll be amazed what she hands back. If not satisfied, with the first option, throw it back. Repeat until you receive something really good!